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Have you ever seen a moose or, hell, even a caribou irl?
Yes (moose) 18%  18%  [ 2 ]
No (moose 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes (caribou) 9%  9%  [ 1 ]
No(caribou) 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes (moose and caribou) 9%  9%  [ 1 ]
No (moose and caribou) 36%  36%  [ 4 ]
Undecided 27%  27%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 11
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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2015 10:27 pm 
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Location: Michigan/Indiana/Kentucky
Favorite Team: Tigers
Console '07: Nintendo Wii
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Favorite Japanese title: Don't Own
Ayy the Stranglers are back :}

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2015 10:44 pm 
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Paul McCartney15 wrote:
Thank you both.

Yeah I had to jump on the old logs being brought back bandwagon, PPFan. ;)

heyooooo, welcome aboard ;wink;

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 10:25 pm 
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Location: Back in the U.S.S.R.
Favorite Team: Phillies
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Player Update

October 18th, 2011

The players are cleaning out the locker room in Scranton for what they thought would be the last time after being swept by the Cardinals in the NLDS. SGT. PEPPER entered feeling morose.

PEPPER: Gentleman, this city has given us everything these last few years. And I like to think that we gave them the same, until now. Now I understand that it isn't your fault that your team is owned by a greedy little chicken shit who doesn't know jack about the game, but I still think--I know we could have given more. And the people have supported us deserve more. And we all deserve more.

JOHN: So... Is that it?

PEPPER: The *(censored)* do you mean "is that it?"? Of course it's not it we're gonna win the NL West next year.

JOHN: No, I mean, aren't you gonna tear us a new one?

AZUL: Yeah, I was kinda hoping you would blow up for my running series "Manager Freakouts". I'm trying to go viral.

PEPPER: Azul, I don't know where I went wrong with you. And yes, I'm done.

Just then the sounds of The Backstreet Boys filled the clubhouse as Brian Wilson scrambled to plug his headphones back in an turn down the volume on his Walkman at the same time. And then the Pepper blew his top.

PEPPER: GAWWWDDAMMIT WILSON!! WHAT THE *(censored)* IS IT WITH YOU WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!

Azul began filming, while questioning if he should ask Pepper to start over so he could get it all on video. Brian was speechless.

PEPPER: Well, what is it boy?! Cat got yer tounge, you dumb *(censored)*!

BRIAN: I'm sorry coach, music is my passion.

PAUL: So you listen to the Backstreet Boys?

BRIAN: It came on shuffle!

PAUL: On a Walkman?

PEPPER: Stay the hell out of this McCartney. *turning to Wilson* Now I didn't want to make this personal and we still win and lose as a team, BUT MAYBE IF YOU TOOK A BREAK FROM YOUR GODDAM PASSION AND FOCUSED ON YOUR JOB, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BLOWN THAT LAST SAVE!

Pepper snatched Brian's Walkman from his hands and began gnawing it. It was really awkward seeing him try to eat a Walkman at first, but eventually his razor sharp teeth broke through the music player.

BRIAN: That's vintage!!

AZUL: Damnit! Hey Pep could you do that again this wasn't recording.

Pepper spat the remains of Brian's Walkman out in Azul's face. The Stranglers finished cleaning out their lockers.

March 28th, 2015

There was one other Strangler who was happy to be back in Scranton. In fact it was the ace of the staff, Paul McCartney, who was perhaps the happiest by far with the move. Scranton was the only place he could get good medication for his athlete's foot. In LA, his athlete's foot became more severe which led to his disappointing performance. He went down to the shady section of Scranton (alright let's be real all of Scranton is shady). He went down to one of the shadier sections of the city to buy his special medication.

PAUL: Hey, uhh, I need something for my feet.

WILDTHING: Paul?

PAUL: WildThing? What the hell are you doing here?

WILDTHING: I was just about to ask you the same.

PAUL: I need some medication.

WILDTHING: Oh, I think I have just the drug!

PAUL: It isn't anything performance enhancing is it? I don't need any trouble.

WILDTHING: It's not the type of performance you're thinking of, but it'll certainly enhance something.

WildThing gestured towards Paul's Johnson.

PAUL: Oh, oh god no.

WILDTHING: Yeah this little number is certain to make the ol' cock crow.

PAUL: No, WildThing, I don't need it.

WILDTHING: Good, because I sure do.

WildThing would be turning 50 this season, but he could still hold his own as the Stranglers' set up man. However, other aspects of his man good needed help setting up.

PAUL: You never answered my question, what are you doing here.

WILDTHING: Why, I'm an entrepreneur, Pauly! I used to run this town, and now I'm trying to catch up with it again.

PAUL: I don't suppose you have any athlete's foot medication do you?

WILDTHING: Of course I do! All you had to do was ask, man. That'll be 75 bucks.

PAUL: Really? Damn, it must be high in demand.

It wasn't, WildThing just has no idea what he's talking about, ever. Paul bought the medicine anyway and it was the beginning of a not-so beautiful partnership between the two.

Later that night, Kennedy was lying awake in his bed, about to doze off when the Sultan of Swat appeared before him again.

BABE: How's it goin kid?

CHRIS: What do I have to do now?

BABE: Wanna hear about the time I called my shot in the World Series?

CHRIS: Babe I'm trying to sleep.

BABE: C'mon it's a great story!

CHRIS: Look, Babe-- actually can I call you George. I feel like in talking to a girlfriend or something.

BABE: No.

CHRIS: Alrighty then. Is that all?

BABE: Oh right I had some mystic advice to share with you. See, you nee to win championships pal. And the only way to do that is with a great team. Murderer's Row. Lou and I. We were great friends. It's time you become re-acquainted with your teammates, doll face.

CHRIS: Please don't call me that. But you're right, I need to get the band back together.

BABE: I don't know what that means. Say, what happened since my death back in 1948?

Kennedy got Babe Ruth caught up with all the major events sinc ehis death, although Chris fell asleep during the Reagan administration and the Bambino showed himself out in the morning after crashing on Kennedy's couch.

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 12:28 am 
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Favorite Japanese title: Don't Own
Player Update

March 29th, 2015 9:36 AM

The three men entered the interrogation room. Two were looking rather sharp in tailored suits and the other was MARK PRIOR. Bionic arm and all.

MARK: Now I hope you can tell me what this is all about chief.

CHIEF DUFFY: Yes, consider this a briefing Mark. Sorry for all the secrecy.

MARK: Well, what is it? I kind of have another meeting I should be at right now.

CHIEF DUFFY: The Scranton Strangler has returned.

March 29th, 20159:45 AM Panpaka Park Press Room

Sgt. Pepper stood at the podium, ready to address several issues concerning the return of the Scranton Stranglers.

PEPPER: Well, folks, fire away.

NEWSWOMAN: Your organization has been facing a lot of pressure lately to change the name of the team. What do you have to say about this?

PEPPER: Well, you'd have to ask the front office. We don't really have an owner right now. Honestly I don't care if we're called the Scranton Stranglers or the Scranton Shitheads, I just wanna play ball.

This drew laughs from the crowd.

PEPPER: But seriously, we do need and owner for this team.

March 29th, 2015 9:54 AM Chris Kennedy's Apartment

Chris was excitedly chatting with Brian about his big ideas for the day.

CHRIS: We, the players, should own this team Brian! That's part of the reason why I called this meeting today. Speaking of which, they should be here any minute. Go put the deviled eggs out!

BRIAN: Kennedy, did you see the news today?

CHRIS: No, what happened?

March 29th, 20159:58 AM Intereogation Room

Chief Duffy let the Inspector who had been on the Strangler case years ago brief Mark.

INSPECTOR SMITS: Last night a woman was found dead down at the docks. Cause of death was of course strangulation. Preliminary forensics indicate that it was done in the same way our guy did it, back in the 90s and the aughts.

MARK: I don't get it. You..

SMITS: Killed the Scranton Strangler, yes. So a.) he wasn't our guy or the other option is that-

MARK: Didn't actually kill him.

SMITS nodded. He then took out another file from the case.

April 1st, 2007 2:21 AM Scranton Docks

Inspector Smits ran faster than he had in his life. He had likely just lost his partner in a car crash caused by the Strangler and if Inspector Nix didn't make it, he would be the first person to kill without using his hands.

INSPECTOR: Stop, Police!

What good was that going to do? Smits shot at a silouette, hoping against hope that it was his guy.

INSPECTOR: You bastard!

Smits unloaded with great fury into the killer's back, sending him into the river and causing much relief in Scranton the next day.

March 29th, 201510:02 AM Interrogation Room

SMITS: I requested that Mayor Doherty follow up with a full search of the river, but he took me off the case. He thought that once we confirmed that the had we found was the Strangler's, that was enough cause to celebrate.

March 29th, 201510:03 AM Press Room

PEPPER: I think us being back in Scranton is certainly reason to celebrate. The move to LA was a huge mistake and it showed.

SPORTS WRITER: How do the players feel about being moved around so much?

PEPPER: I'm not sure how my players feel about it all really. I've no clue what they could be up to now.

March 29th, 201510:05 AM Kennedy's Place
Kennedy's proposed team meeting had actually turned into a little group therapy session and a fight had broken out over who's turn it was to talk.

KENNEDY: Hey can't we all just get along guys?!

GEORGE: He talked while I had the conch!

RYAN: That's because you stole it from me!

They wrestled around on the floor while the other players argued.

CHRIS: John, no! We do not wag our genitals at each other to emphasize a point!

March 29th, 2015 10:07 AM Interrogation Room

DUFFY: Copy cats have been ruled out through the years with murders that involved genital mutilation and the like.

SMITS: Exactly. What the strangler was always up to was just raw strangulation. Cold blooded killing at its most simple and intimate.

PRIOR: So, what do you fellas need me to do?

DUFFY: Well we see you got some nifty upgrades in your bionic arm there while you were near Silicon Valley.

SMITS: You could be a huge help in stopping this sonuvabitch from killing again.

March 29th, 2015 10:18 AM Kennedy's Place

Things had finally calmed down and the boys were making progress.

MICK: And sometimes I really did want to kill you, Paul. But deep down I *sniffles* I really do love you. I love all you guys.

Everyone started crying.

CHRIS: Well I think now's as good a time as any to broach this subject. I think we should all band together and buy the team. There really is no better candidate.

March 29th, 2015 10:20 AM Press Room

PEPPER: Well I know for sure that Bill Gates might want to buy the team. That would be really nice. Oh, and I've been told Prince Harry is placing a bid to impress a girl he's seeing. That seems a bit forward to me but I suppose its a nice gesture.

HARRY JONES: How much is the team valued at exactly?

PEPPER: I've been informed that the team shouldn't go for much more than 800-900,000 dollars. I guess that's kind of a bargain these days.

March, 29th 2015 10:26 AM Kennedy's Place

The players had talked it over and most agreed that buying the team was the right idea.

CHRIS: Now one thing's for sure, it ain't gonna be cheap. I think the Dodgers just went for 2 billion. So I say we go for no less than 2.5 billion. I know it's a lot but I also know we can do it if we all pitch in. And I do know for sure that winning requires sacrifice, and being the great team we once were requires us all to buy in.

PABLO: Wait just a second there, Chris.

PABLO SANCHEZ hadn't said much the entire morning. The players all turned to look at him.

PABLO: I know for a fact that you're getting paid more than anyone on this team. And I'm not going broke by any means, but I will need a raise to be able to do this. Not to mention that I liked California. And you isolated yourself from us out there. Man, there was a time when I would cut off my own right hand for this team.

March 29th, 201510:30 AM Interrogation Room

PRIOR: So you're saying the killer cut off his own right hand and escaped Scranton that night?

SMITS: That's exactly what I'm saying! I've suspected it for years, and this next bit just confirmed those suspicions.

DUFFY: Tests came back positive for traces of iron in the victims neck. Where the right hand would be on the Strangler.

PRIOR: Holy shit. So what can I do.

SMITS: We need you to infiltrate the enemy. The good thing is, you already have.

PRIOR: What?

DUFFY: We believe that someone on the Scranton Stranglers could be involved with The Scranton Strangler in some capacity.

PRIOR: Oh come on guys. My teammates have their eccentricities for sure, but they wouldn't hurt a fly.

March 29th, 2015 10:34 AM Kennedy's Place

Brian Wilson came back in the living room with the fly swatter.

BRIAN: Alright where is it?

PAUL: Up there.

He pointed to the ceiling. Brian then climbed on the couch he spent his nights on these days and swatted the hell out of the fly.

BRIAN: Got it! Finally. Alright, you guys can continue.

Chris and Pablo had gotten into a little spat about money, fame, awards and the like.

CHRIS: I never knew you felt that way, Pabs. It's just with my wife leaving me it's been hard and all.

PABLO: But you never reached out to us. And whenever we trie reaching out to you you shrugged us off. Friendship is a two way street you know.

CHRIS: I'm sorry. To all of you really.

PABLO: It's fine now. And I'll buy in, but we're all gonna need to help each other out from now on.

CHRIS: I just have to make one phone call.

March 29, 2015 10:37 AM Press Room

Sgt. Pepper's phone began to ring in the middle of the reporter's question.

PEPPER: Sorry I have to take this. Ok well I don't really have to, but I want to anyway.

He answered the phone during his press conference.

PEPPER: Hello. Hey, son how had you been? You're doing what? That's a risky move, boy. I hope you know what you're getting into... Well I suppose youll have to get off the phone with me and make a call to the ol' commish about this. See ya later.

The sea of reporters were all staring at him.

PEPPER: That was my daughter.

March 29th, 2015 10:41 AM Interrogtion Room

DUFFY: The woman that was killed was the mayor's daughter. So you can see how this is so important to the city of Scranton.

Mark Prior had spent the last few minutes being semi convinced by the Inspector and the Chief that his teammates could be murderers or accomplices to a murderer. This was some Usual Suspects type shit and he needed a moment.

PRIOR: Yeah, I just need a moment, but I think I can help you guys.

SMITS: Just know that this won't be easy, kid.

March 29, 2015 10:45 AM Kennedy's Place

KENNEDY: I had no idea it would be that easy! The commissioner seemed happy to sell us the team for 2.5 billion dollars. Weirdly ecstatic, even.

JOHN: Well what are we waiting for? Let's announce this shit!

PAUL: I guess we'll have to relocate our team meeting in that case!

The Stranglers began to excitedly make their way to the press room at Panpaka Park.

March 29th, 2015 10:48 AM Scranton Police Station Parking Lot, Mark's Car

MARK: Jorkins, locate.

JORKINS: Who shall I locate, sir?

MARK: The Scranton Stranglers.

March 29th, 11:00 AM Press Room at Panpaka Park

The entire Stranglers team burst into Pepper's ongoing press conference including Mark.

CHRIS: Oh hey, Mark! Why weren't you at the meeting, is everything all right.

MARK: No, Kennedy, everything is not all right.

REPORTER: What the hell are they doing here.

PEPPER: I'll let you guys take that one.

PABLO: We have decided to buy the Scranton Stranglers! And the team name will remain unchanged!

This caused a media frenzy. Just an absolute *(censored)* of story lines that day.

March 30th, 2015 12:00 AM Kennedy's Bedroom

Kennedy lay in his bed, unchanged and still in his regular clothes after that crazy day.

CHRIS: I think I handled all that rather nicely.

BABE: Yeah good job kid. Now you just have to make sure you don't get sold to another team and all your work goes to waste.

CHRIS: Oh you mean like a no trade clause? That's a great idea actually!

BABE: What the hell's a no trade clause.

CHRIS: Nevermind. So are you just gonna show up in my room the same time every night.

BABE: Dead people really don't have a good grasp on the concept of time.

CHRIS: Oh.

BABE: So anyway, who's this Hank Aaron character? Why don't they give the Babe Ruth award to the league's biggest slugger.

CHRIS: I think that's a story for another day, Babe.

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 12:41 am 
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Favorite Team: Brewers
Console '07: Don't Own
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Favorite Japanese title: Don't Own
:lol: Great update, I wanna keep reading and find out what happens!!

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 10:59 am 
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BrewersFuzz wrote:
:lol: Great update, I wanna keep reading and find out what happens!!

Thanks brew-crew!

I had a lot of fun with the structure of this update, but what did some of you other guys think of it? Cause I might use something similar again in the near future.

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 12:38 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 04, 2012 2:29 pm
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Favorite Japanese title: (PS3) Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 2011
Yay! The Stranglers are back! :D

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 11:28 pm 
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Player Update

March 30th, 2015 12:25 PM Panpaka Park Press Room

The media frenzy over the surprise of the players buying the team had carried over into the next day. Can players even buy a team? Is that legal? "Who cares?" Was the reply from the commisioner who got way more than he thought he would for the ballclub. Now the Stranglers were announcing that they promoted longtime GM JOEY YOST to President of Baseball Operations. Joey was now announcing his successor in the GM position.

JOEY: Uh, so this has kinda been a crazy couple of days guys and girls. I'm very hapy to get this promotion, but it does leave is without a general manager. So I'd like to introduce you all to the new GM of the Scranton Stranglers, Bryn Wilder!

BRYN WILDER a 29 year old who had experience in scouting with te Stranglers, sat next to Joey at the press conference table looking confident and poised to make a name for herself within the MLB.

JOEY: Now many might say she's inexperienced, but as a scout within our organization since the beginning, she has a helluva lot more experience than I did when I started out. In fact, she came up with the letter grade system that we evaluate every player we come across with here.. Ah, hell I'm rambling now. Bryn, take it away.

BRYN: Thanks Joey. I'll take 5 questions and then we have an announcement to make.

REPORTER: Why don't you make the announcement before we ask questions?

BRYN: So you all ask your questions faster. And you're now down to four questions. Who's next?

Bryn and Joey both answered the next few questions with ease. Hiring Bryn had been a step in the right direction for the Stranglers, in a few different ways.

BRYN: Ok, now the announcement. I'm surprised you all haven't found this out yet from twitter, but we have traded away starting pitcher Gunner McCoy to the Astros for catcher Ryan Gardner and relief pitcher Randall Weeks. Both are prospects with enlrmous potential to help us in the near future.

But almost none of what Bryn said was heard by the press, not that it would have mattered to them. Gunner McCoy was the best pitcher for the Stranglers while in California. And now the new general manager is here for less than 5 minutes and she'd already dumped him for prospects.

JOEY: Now, now. Most of you know that I've been trying to find the right deal for McCoy, but due to an oppressive owner, I really couldn't. Now we found that deal.

BRYN: Exactly. The Stranglers would like to thank Gunner for his hard work and we wish him the best in the future.

The press conference was over, but the room was still abuzz so Joey and Bryn walke outside.

JOEY: Hm.. That's odd.

BRYN: What?

JOEY: Chris Kennedy wants to meet me for lunch. I suppose you should join us, Ms. Manager.

November 8th, 201112:45 PM Frankie's Deli, Downtown Scranton

The last time Chris and Joey had met like this was when they were renegotiating Kennedy's deal.

CHRIS: I don't know if I want to commit to 7 years, Joey.

JOEY: I could bring it down to 6, and then add an option for the 7th if it'll make you more comfortable.

There was a pause long enough for Joey to know that Kennedy wasn't charmed by the idea.

JOEY: Look, maybe I can go back to Goldman and get another half million thrown in there.

CHRIS: It's not about the money.

JOEY: What is it then? God knows you deserve the money. And we really wanna get you locked up.

CHRIS: A year ago this would have been the best thing to happen to me. It's just this California business has me worried.

JOEY: Look, I get it Chris. I remember when I was your age. The best thing for a 22 year old is stability. And leaving home for the first time is always hard, but I guarantee you'll be glad you did.

There was another pause of medium length.

JOEY: Sleep on it for me. Alright, pal?

March 30th, 20151:12 AM Starbucks, Downtown Scranton

Joey Yost entered the Starbucks where Chris asked him to meet.

JOEY: Didn't this place used to be a deli?

CHRIS: Yeah, looks like we'll be having coffee and scones for lunch. I just thought that this being the place we met back in '11 it would be more symbolic.

JOEY: ... You aren't gonna kill me or anything are you?

CHRIS: Haha. No, I just want to restructure my deal.

JOEY: Now I wish you would've just killed me. Alright, here comes our new general manager.

Joey introduced Chris to Bryn and the two exchanged niceties over a lunchtime scone.

BRYN: No offense Joey, but your fishing stories aren't as interesting as the real reason I've been called here, I'm sure.

CHRIS: Ok, I have two things I want put into my contract, nothing huge. First I want a no-trade clause.

JOEY: That shouldn't be too hard.

BRYN: I thought we agreed no more no trade clauses after all the shit we went through with McCoy?

JOEY: Oh, come on! Like we're gonna trade him away!

BRYN: You never know.

She gestured toward a knee brace Kennedy was wearing.

CHRIS: What? This? I just pulled a muscle playing basketball the other day!

Earlier That Day Kennedy's Apartment

BRIAN: What the hell are you doing man?

CHRIS: My grandmother's coming over later and my mom's making me wear the stilts she got me for Christmas.

The sweet sounds of Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-lot came over the radio.

BRIAN: Oh, hell yes!

CHRIS: Crank it up, my dude! I challenge you to a dance off!

It was unclear what move Chris was trying to do as he launched into his first dance move and careened onto the table where the radio was placed.

CHRIS: MY LEG!

the presentsame time same place

CHRIS: Yeah, I was just playing some one on one and this bastard hit me in the knee.

BRYN: Aaanyway. What was your second request?

CHRIS: I want a pay cut.

JOEY: Whoa. I can't imagine the union will be too happy about that.

BRYN: Wait, that's actually really great. It'll make this team look more.. Relatable.

JOEY: Relatable? Remember the Rodriguez deal with the Sox?

BRYN: Forget the Rodriguez deal, this could be just what we need!

Before they could discuss it more, Chris drew their attention to the TV screen. Gunner McCoy was about to make his statement on the trade, but they couldn't here it over the Twin Peaks soundtrack playing at the Starbucks they were in.

CHRIS: Phillipe, turn that down, please.

Phillipe obliged and they were able to here Gunner.

GUNNER MCCOY: They're all crazy. Every single one of em. Y'know, I thought the management was actually pretty normal. And then they trade their best pitcher? The Stranglers truly are a team from hell, hand picked by Lucifer himself.

Joey, Bryn and Chris all sat there, shocked for a few moments. Bryn was the one who finally broke the silence.

BRYN: Well that was a tad over the top. Really theatrical for my tastes.

CHRIS: We were nothing, but nice to that kid!

August 21st, 2013 Stranglers Clubhouse, Southern California

GUNNER MCCOY'S pants went up in flames just before the youngster came out of the shower. McCoy was fuming when he saw the fire.

GUNNER: God damnit guys this is the seventh time this week! That was my last pair and I have to pitch today you asshats!

The Stranglers were all tearing up with laughter.

back to the future..

JOEY: Yeah, we're gonna need all the image help we can get, you've got yourself a deal Chris.

BRYN: We can allow the no trade clause. Great idea, man. Anything else on your mind?

CHRIS: Yeah, we all had a players/owners meeting today and we decided to cut someone in on the deal with more business experience to handle day to day stuff.

BRYN: I was thinking the same thing actually. Did you have anyone in mind?

March 29th, 2015 9:46 PM Kennedy's Apartment

The teammates all decided to celebrate what they figured was a victory today by partying at Kennedy's house and discussing business.

PAUL: We should have like a.. Like a figurehead. Y'know? To be the big owner and handle the responsibility.

PABLO: That's a damn good idea.

PAUL: Yeah, cause like, I can't be worrying about what kind of napkins the stadium should have and shit like that.

CHRIS: Well who should this figurehead guy be?

PAUL: Hey man you get one good idea out of me per day.

RINGO: It should be the person we know with the most business experience!

CHRIS: Who do we know that has business experience?

JOHN: Oprah!

WILDTHING: Mitt Romney.

PABLO: Bill Gates!

CHRIS: We don't know any of these people though. There's no way they'd do it.

RYAN: What about Jared, from Subway?

CHRIS: That's not bad. But I'm sure we can think of something better.

RYAN: Well let's make him the preliminary choice for now.

CHRIS: Yeah, but let's keep thinking boys. I know we'll think of someone great.

March 30th, 2015 1:34 PM Scranton Starbucks

CHRIS: Oh I have someone in mind alright. And I think he just might knock your socks off.

BRYN: Well who the hell is it, Chris?

CHRIS: Jared from subway!

Chris tried to sound as excited as he could so maybe he could make Bryn and Joey think it was a good idea, but it wasn't working.

JOEY: You guys haven't contacted him yet or anything have you?

Chris checked his watch.

CHRIS: Shit. I was actually supposed to pick him up from the airport an hour ago. I gotta dash! See ya guys later!

Kennedy left without paying.

BRYN: That'll come out of his contract.

JOEY: This whole Jared thing *(censored)* everything up.

BRYN: Yeah, we're gonna need a lot of help. So I need to go assemble my team.

March 30th, 2015 8:13 PM Kennedy's Apartement

CHRIS: This isn't terrible. I mean, everyone loves Jared! I just have no idea why he left Subway.

Brian was at the computer.

BRIAN: Ummm. I think I do.

Kennedy was too busy thinking to listen.

CHRIS: Let's see. We could have free subway sandwhich night. Maybe we could have the huge pants on display at the ballpark. Or-

BRIAN: Oh, god. No. I have to stop you there come read this.

Kennedy read the article Brian was reading and was equally disgusted.

CHRIS: We just brought in a sex offender to be our figurehead.

BRIAN: can't wait to see how the press spins this.

CHRIS: We gotta get rid of him.

BRIAN: He's already been arrested.

CHRIS: This is going to be a story in the morning. Possibly involving us. I need to get some rest.

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 2:53 pm 
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I knew Gunner McCoy would never make a good main character.

Paul McCartney15 wrote:
enlrmous potential

Beautiful.

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 5:11 pm 
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detroittigers15 wrote:
I knew Gunner McCoy would never make a good main character.

Paul McCartney15 wrote:
enlrmous potential

Beautiful.

It took me years to decide, but I finally just had to trade the bastard. :P

Also, good catch. :lol:

im not editing that

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 7:44 pm 
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*ANNOUNCEMENT*

Alrighty folks, as mentioned in the last update, Joey and Bryn need to assemble their new front office team.

We're going to need:

An assistant GM (assists with trades and free agent signings as well as player negotiations)
A new head scout (advises on draft needs)
Public Relations Manager (the Stranglers need someone to put a positive spin on the messes the make)
Head of Marketing (the team needs to be "re-sold" to Scranton and th head of marketing needs to find out how to do this. Ex. You come up with an idea for a commercial and choose which players to star in it)

PM me your applications for these jobs if you are interested. I will need the following,

NAME:
AGE:
APPEARANCE:
BIO:
PRIOR EXPERIENCE:
PERSONALITY TYPE:



Alright I think that's everything folks.

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 9:48 pm 
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Alright folks the Head Scout and Public Relations positions have now been filled. Still accepting applications for the other jobs. :D

EDIT: The head of marketing position has been filled now as well.

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 12:50 am 
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Player Update
March 31st, 2015 8:28 AM Downtown Scranton

Joey and Bryn were on their way to their regular morning meeting at Panpaka Park. This meeting was extra special because they had filled a few of the positions they were hiring for and the new employees were to report for the first time today.
*ring ring*

BRYN: Hold on a sec, I gotta take this. Hello?

RYAN HOWARD: Ms. Wilder? It's Ryan Howard. You just hired a new public relations guy right?

BRYN: Yeah, why do you ask.

RYAN: I need him to spin something for me.

BRYN: Oh, God. What could you possibly need him to spin for you?

RYAN: Murder.

BRYN: Ryan what the hell?! He hung up on me.

PAPER BOY: Extra, extra! Read all about it! Ex-Subway spokes person found dead!

JOEY: Hey, kid give me that paper!

PAPER BOY: That'll be 25 cents, sir.

While Joey fished in his pockets for change, Bryn was able to read the headline.

BRYN: Well that was a freebie.

JOEY: What?

BRYN: Jared was hit by a bus last night.

JOEY: Huh. Guess there really is someone looking out for us.

March 31st, 2015 11:39 PM House of Howard

Little did they know, RYAN HOWARD had just pulled off an elaborate power grab to become the head Subway spokesperson. He was finishing the deal with Subway CEO, Mr. Subway, the night before.

RYAN: Yes, Mr. Subway, that whole situation will be taken care of shortly...What's that? Oh, yes of course I am willing to carry around my own pair of novelty huge pants!... Goodnight sir, make sure they get my order right next time for the commercial shoot, I want the fake provolone not the fake American!

Speaking of which..

AZUL: Hey, Ryan, I brought my bus over here. What the hell could you possibly need it for this late?

RYAN: Just shut up and start the bus!

March 31st, 2015 8:37 AM Panpaka Front Offices

Three men were eagerly waiting outside of Joey's new office. The oldest of the three had short hair and a beard and looked to be on the cusp of his 40s. The other two couldn't have been much older than 25, if that. One was rather intimidating looking with great shoes. He played basketball professionally and certainly looked the part, standing at 6'6. The last man had looked overjoyed to be there. He also looked like a hippy with a long beard and even longer hair.

BRYN: You guys can come in now.

They all entered the office.

BRYN: Alright, glad you three could make it in on such short notice. It's just that the season is starting soon and we're uhh.. Not it great shape.

JOEY: I'm Joey Yost, team president. I'd just like to use this time to get to know you guys. Let's go youngest to oldest.

He pointed at the hippy-looking guy, JOEY ACCACIA.

JOEY: Uh, I'm Joey too, sir. Joey Accacia, that is. Your new Head of Marketing!

JOEY: Hm... This could get confusing. Let's call you Accacia from now on.

ACCACIA: That's fine with me, man-uh I mean sir.

JOEY: So, what the hell qualifies you to be our Head of Marketing.

ACCACIA: I took marketing classes in high school and got A's in all of them.

JOEY: Oh really?

Joey turned to Bryn.

JOEY: Who's his father?

BRYN: Accacia's pitch blew us all away. You'll see the billboards he drew up very soon.

JOEY: Very well then. Alright, man you're next.

The next youngest was QUINCY WEBER, former D-leaguer.

QUINCY: The name's Quincy, sir. I'll be your PR guy.

JOEY: Ok, what qualifies you to be our PR guy?

QUINCY: Believe me, I can be very convincing when it comes time to spin a story.

Quincy could be quite the intimidating dude, so Joey moved onto the last applicant, BRYAN LEWANDOSKI.

BRYAN: I'll be your head scout.

JOEY: So you've got some minor league coaching experience? That's great. Hopefully you can help us gather some young talent.

BRYAN: That's the plan.

BRYN: Alrighty then, we should all celebrate!

BRYAN: Why don't we head to the bar?

JOEY: This early in the morning?

BRYAN: Hey, it's five o'clock somewhere.

So they all went to the bar to celebrate the new hirings.

March 30th, 2015 10:42 PM The Thirsty Sailor, Downtown Scranton

Mark Prior had been at the very same bar just the night before, talking to a bartender he had grown fond of.

MARK: So, Cynthia. What do you think of this whole Strangler business?

CYNTHIA: The killer or the team?

Mark took a long drink from his glass of Yuenling Lager.

MARK: For all I know, the two could be one in the same, in a way.

CYNTHIA: How do you mean?

MARK: Well, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret here Cynthia, I'm supposed to investigate my teammates with regards to the strangler case.

CYNTHIA: Mark, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret too. You shouldn't have come back to Scranton. There's a lot about this city that is just too dark and too deep for people to go poking their heads around in.

MARK: Like, what specifically?

CYNTHIA: You're gonna hate me for this, but I've already said too much. The only person that could help you is Quentin O'Connor and he's... Well..

She made a slashing motion across her neck with her finger. Mark got the picture.

MARK: I don't hate you Cynthia, but this is a real pain in the ass. I've gotta go.

Mark then went off to investigate his teammates. He headed over to Chris Kennedy's apartment where he knew the biggest suspect, Brian Wilson, was staying. When he arrived he prepared to knock on the door, but the door was gone.

MARK: Hello?

CHRIS: Oh, hey Mark! What brings you here man?

MARK: Just wanted to ask Brian some questions. What the hell happened to the door?

CHRIS: There was a uhm, stilts accident earlier. I'll go get Brian.

Mark surveyed the area after he left. It certainly didn't look like a place a serial killer would live. Except for the broken stilts and the multiple copies of Space Jam on VHS, nothing was really out of place.

BRIAN: So what did you want to ask me Mark?

MARK: Ah, nothing too heavy. I just wanna know if you have an alibi for every time the Scranton Strangler has murdered someone.

BRIAN: What the hell?

Mark was a little rusty with the whe interrogation thing.

MARK: Nevermind that. Can I feel your hands.

Just then, Ryan Howard walked in carrying the brakes to Azul's bus.

RYAN: Hey, Kennedy can you get rid of these for me.

CHRIS: Yeah, no problem man. In fact, I've been looking for an excuse to break in my new shredder.

Chris put the brakes in the shredder and it promptly exploded, quickly burning much of the carpet.

CHRIS: Shit!

MARK: Should I call the fire department?

BRIAN: No, they've already been here twice today that would be mortifying!

MARK: Alright, then I guess I'll head out.

Brian and Chris were too busy putting out the fire to notice.

RYAN: Everything ok, Mark?

MARK: Nah, not really. Hey, you would never kill anyone, would you?

Ryan froze.

RYAN: I'm really only maiming him though. I just need him out of the picture! He's a terrible guy anyway!

MARK: Thanks for trying to cheer me up Ryam, but I'm just not in the moo for jokes right now.

Mark left the apartment.

RYAN: Dammit! He's onto me! Chris, what's the new GM's phone number?

CHRIS: Uhh, it's on the fridge.

Chris and Brian had accepted that the fire was here to stay so they began to roast hot dogs on the rapidly burning carpet.

March 31st, 2015 9:45 AM The Thirsty Sailor

Bryn, Joey, Joey, Quincy and Bryan all went to The Thirsty Sailor where they were surprised to find Mark Prior conversing with a male bartender.

MARK: Do you have any idea when she'll be back?

BARTENDER: I don't know if she'll be back at all.

MARK: It's just not like Cynthia to take off like that.

BRYN: Mark?

MARK: Oh, hey, Ms. Wilder.

BRYN: What the hell are you doing here do early.

MARK: Shouldn't I ask you the same?

BRYN: I'm not the one who has to pitch next week.

MARK: Don't worry I'm not hitting the bottle. I've just been trying to talk to a friend of mine.

BRYN: Oh, alright then. Why don't you join us then.

Luckily the Thirsty Sailor served brunch on Sumday mornings so they at least had a semi-solid excuse for being at the bar so early.

QUINCY: Hey, Bryan I ordered some Scotch. Here, have some.

BRYAN: I don't know that's a little heavy this early..

QUINCY: I sure would hate to waste money on it though. And coming to the bar was your idea in the first place.

Bryan was scared by Quincy and enticed by the scotch, so he drank up.

*LATER*

The party had gotten a bit rowdy for 11:00 on a Sunday morning. The after church crowd was just beginning to file in and Bryan had disappeared to somewhere in the back. He came back out with a wardrobe change.

BRYAN: Urgh... hey Marky Mark! Ya like my dress?

He was wearing an apron supposedly belonging to someone who worked at the bar.

MARK: Wait, what the hell? Give me this!

Mark had noticed the name tag on the apron. It said "Cynthia". He also noticed the apron had a fair bit of blood on it.

MARK: Where'd you find this?

BRYAN: Went dumpster diving man. A nice lady have it to me.

MARK: God damnit!

He ran to the back alley of the bar just as the garbage truck was driving away, left alone with an empty dumpster. He figured he needed to look into this more. And he could rule out his teammates.

March 31st, 2015 11:09 PM Kennedy's Apartment

The fire was still burning in the living room. This allowed Chris to save on the heating bill so he say around the fire with an old friend.

CHRIS: Am I going crazy?

BABE: I can't really be the judge of that.

CHRIS: Like, your a tangible person to me. I can have conversations with you and not know what you're going to say next. A year ago I would have called myself delusional.

BABE: Humans are arrogant beings. They throw around the word "tomorrow" as if the very concept is a guaranteed right to them. They like to do things like predicting the weather. Them when something new shows up, something they never could have predicted, they prefer to deny it. So I was an unpredicted change in your life and you just want to deny it. Got it?

CHRIS: Yeah, but.. You won't appear to me in the form of a dog and tell me to kill people right?

BABE: Of course no- wait.

CHRIS: What.

BABE: I can't guarantee you'll get out of this alive without having to kill a person or two. Hey who are you calling?

CHRIS: A psychoanalyst.

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:54 am 
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THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON AT ONCE

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 Post subject: Re: Scranton Stranglers Season Log: A players point of view
PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:54 pm 
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detroittigers15 wrote:
THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON AT ONCE

That's certainly true. Do you think it's too much?

Two more player updates and then I'll get the games going.

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