Power Pros Forum

FEBRUARY 2006



TREY WINGO: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the Post-Super Bowl XL edition of NFL Live, your home for all the news about the NFL not named SportsCenter! Tonight, we have learned that the Houston Texans, after a dismal 2-14 record in the 05-06 season, will fire head coach Dom Capers after 4 seasons. They have also, at the same time, hired someone we saw in yesterday's matchup between the Steelers and Seahawks: former Steelers Offensive Coordinator Ethan Oakley.

What we are being told is that Oakley is a Houston native, born and raised there, and at 30 years old, will be one of the youngest head coaches in the NFL coming in to the next season. From a press release by the Texans, the new coach is planning on some "big changes" with the team. We shall see what the new coach means by that, but it will be interesting to see what he does.

Next on NFL Live, Ben Roethlisberger: is he an elite QB now that he's won a Super Bowl? Will the Texans not suck next year? All next on NFL Live.
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So yeah, this begins my newest project involving NFL Head Coach. I'll try to get more up tonight, but this is just the beginning. It's not much right now, but it'll be getting into the thick of it soon.

Looks good so far. Can't wait 'til the next update

Your name caused me to lol incredibly hard

this.

THE INTERVIEW

EDITOR'S NOTE: Please excuse the crappy picture quality from the game from here on in. Print Screen doesn't work with this game, so I have to resort to using my cell phone's camera, which is a pile of crap on a bun.



OAKLEY: Hey, this is Oakley. What'cha want?



RAYMOND DUNBAR, OWNER: Hello, Mr. Oakley, this is Raymond Dunbar, owner of the Houston Texans, and we'd like to interview you for our open head coach position.

OAKLEY: Sweet, brah. Lay it on me.

DUNBAR: OK, then. First question: Which current or former NFL head coach would you most like to have on your sidelines?

OAKLEY: Uh...me, I guess?

DUNBAR: Sigh. Other than you?

OAKLEY: Uh...the dude who's coaching the Jaguars?

DUNBAR: Other tha-ugh, you know what, let's move on. What do you do to prepare for games?

OAKLEY: Oh, that's an easy one, dude. I usually get my bros to come over to my house and beat the crap out of each other in Madden, and then totally, like, rock out to some Rock Band. You see, my main man Marv-

DUNBAR: Uh...let's just move on from that. Next question: what kind of motivation do you typically use on your players?

OAKLEY: Bro, that's totally easy. I bring in some KFC and some Bud Light to the team meetings. That, like, totally gets the dudes amped up and stuff for the game. It's so awesome, I even told my good friend Bobby...

DUNBAR: (to self) This is not going well...but we need a head coach...



STEVE SABOL, NFL FILMS: (filmed in present day) After several minutes of this god-awful Q&A session, we at NFL Films decided it be best to not record any more of what appears to be...the worst interview...in human history. Even so, with in-game ratings that are surprisingly decent, the Texans hired Mr. Oakley to a 6-year, 10 million dollar contract, effectively making him the latest person to be signed to an awful contract. There is one caveat, however: it was better than Phil Coke getting a $2 million contract from the Detroit Tigers. The next day, he started his journey to becoming famous (or infamous) with the Houston Texans.

That was the worst interview in the history of interviews