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 Post subject: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 1:45 pm 
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I was debating myself on where exactly to put this, whether in the 07 Success Mode section, or here in the Stories/Logs section. I decided to put it here.

I have had the idea for a while on writing the story of Success Mode 07 from the perspective of another character in the story. My creative writing class in college gave me the opportunity to finally make due on that idea, and I started writing. I chose Alvin, because he is the person that appears pretty frequently in the story, outside of Chief and Marvin.

Hopefully you enjoy the first "chapter" of the story, and I'll post more as I get them finished. Let me know what you think, and how I can improve on the story as I go along!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1 - A Team Full of Misfits

It was a bright, warm, and sunny day, especially by what was usual in late August by southern California standards. This day was more than that, though. Today was sign-up day for Powerful University’s baseball team, nicknamed the Tulips, and I couldn’t wait to join what I heard was a prestigious college baseball team in the Sunny League. The cutoff for sign-ups was around noon, but I had accidentally forgot to set my alarm, so I had a bit of a late start. I got down to the field about 10 minutes before the cut-off, and got my first look at the park. The field had some brown patches in spots, and in a way was kind of an old place, with grass berms down the left and right field lines, standing-room bench areas beyond the outfield fences, and a few duplexes beyond that.

“So this is where the prestigious team plays,” I said while making my way to the clubhouse, “It seems like such an old and run down field, but I can feel a profound history here.” At that point, I ran into a couple people who were heading to the same place. One had a shock of blonde hair in the back, and had thick enough glasses that you couldn’t see his eyes, and the other barely had any hair in the back, and had eyes so big, they could practically fill his entire face. Apparently, they heard me, as the big-eyed one asked, “Who are you?”

It was kind of a rude thing to ask like that, but I obliged and answered the question. “I’m Alvin Lockhart. If you two are here to join the team, then we’ll be working to make it to the major leagues together.”

“You’re looking to make it to the majors, too?” The big-eyed one lit up at the last statement I made. I have aspirations of making it to Major League Baseball someday, and going to a prestigious university like this one would help me achieve that goal. “That I am,” I replied, “why else would I be joining the team? By the way, what are your names?”

“I’m B.J., and the one in the glasses is Marvin,” said the balding one, B.J. We talked a little more about our dreams and aspirations, and about the team as well.

“Is this team really that famous?” Marvin asked, seemingly being confused. I then responded semi-sarcastically, “Well, that won’t matter if you don’t turn in your application forms on time!” The two people I just met then freaked out a bit, as it was almost the deadline to sign up. I directed them to the clubhouse as they scurried away. I decided to wait behind a little bit and check out the field a bit more. However, I lost track of time, and had to hurry down to the clubhouse myself. I knew I was late, and I was hoping they wouldn’t mind.

“You don’t want to forget me!” I screamed as I ran in. Everybody was a little confused, and a slightly older person with well-combed light brown hair, who I later came to found was named Robbie, asked me, “Who are you supposed to be again?” I introduced myself to Robbie, apologized for being late, and mentioned my major league dreams. When I said that, Robbie looked like he was about to crack up. “That’s real funny, that major league thing,” he chuckled, “I guess it’s good to set your sights high!”

After that, he introduced me to the rest of the first year players, including Peter, the second baseman and a medical student, and Milton, the shy and timid left fielder. He then introduced me to the second year players, which weren’t all that special, except for Toby, a brash and obnoxious pitcher. They all said they’re counting on me and the rest of the first year players, except for Toby, who exclaimed, “Yours truly doesn’t have to count on them ONE bit.” Outside of that, everyone seemed really nice. That worried me just a bit. What also worried me is one other tiny thing…

“What about the coach?” I asked. What Robbie replied with absolutely floored me.

“Actually, we haven’t had a coach for years! Don’t worry, though: we’re looking. We posted flyers all around town! Someone will come soon!” At this point, Robbie was laughing his rear off.

“So you brought the Tulips all the way without a coach? You guys really must be good,” I replied. Robbie replied in shock a bit. “You…think so?” He said. Toby came in and interrupted him at this point, and went over the practice schedule, which was basically the team messing around and practicing when they want. They sent us on our way, and as I left, I thought to myself, “If that’s the practice schedule, then these players must be pretty self-motivated!” The illusion I had of this team was still intact, but slowly crumbling away.

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 12:33 pm 
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Chapter 2 - The Test

The next month was the first day we got to choose which positions we would officially be playing for the Tulips. Toby asked all of us that specific question, and when I mentioned I wanted to be a pitcher, he snapped. “Pitcher?! We’ve already got Robbie and ME! We don’t need any more pitchers! What other positions can you play?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I replied, “you name it, I can play it.” Toby got taken aback at that, but B.J. stepped in before he could go at me even more.

“Nobody’s that good, man,” B.J. said, and Toby agreed. I had to defend myself right then. “I just meant…since I’ve joined the team and seen you guys play, I feel it’s a level I can play at, too.” B.J. asked if I could handle other positions, like catcher and shortstop, and Toby took it a step further, and set up a test for my pitching skills. Condescendingly, he said as he set it up, “Since I’M a pitcher, I can tell if you’re just blowing hot air.”
Toby decided not to put on a mask for my test. Whether that was a side effect of his massive ego or not, he insisted he not wear one, even though I did suggest it to him. “Hah,” he said, “I’LL catch anything you can throw at ME with MY bare hands!”

I went into my signature windup, raising my arms above my head, pausing, kicking my foot up in the air, pausing again, and unleashed a 90 mile-per-hour fastball right over the plate and right into Toby’s bare hands. Toby screamed in pain as his hubris caught up with him, and knowing his personality, it probably wasn’t the first time it had happened. I checked to see if he was OK, mentioning that I was only warming up.
Both B.J. and Robbie came over to see what happened, and if B.J. was amazed, Robbie was bewildered. “H-he’s a-amazing,” he stuttered, “why would he come to p-play for a t-team like ours?”

“Because this team has prestige, of course!” he responded. At least he thought the same way I did. He also mentioned his major league dreams as well, saying that he has to keep up with me. I came over at this point as Toby was lecturing B.J., exclaiming, “Do you actually believe anyone from this team is ever gonna get to the majors? You guys are lacking the most important quality in a pro ballplayer – talent.”

“Hey, man, are you saying I’m not pro material?” I chimed in.

Toby yelled, “Read my lips, buddy…YES! Anybody in their right mind would pick a WINNING team if they wanna be in the majors, not the worst!”

“The worst team?” I questioned, “You don’t have to be so humble. You were expected to win the championship last year.”

“What?!” both Toby and Robbie were incredulous at this point. Toby continued, “The only championship team from this school was the Lady Tulips, the girls’ softball team!”

At that moment, the illusion I had of this team was completely shattered. This team wasn’t good? From the practices I saw, the level of their play was sort of low for such a good team, but the Tulips are the worst team in the league? What was I getting myself into with this team?

“Alright, alright,” Robbie finally was calmed down enough to get a level head on this situation. “So that’s why you’re here. I suppose, with your talent, we could give the majors a shot. We’re extremely lucky to have a player with talent like yours on the team. It might just be a turning point for the Tulips.”
Toby went on and on with his pessimistic ways, but from the looks of things, it sounded to me like Robbie thinks we have a legitimate shot at not being a “permanent fixture” in last place, as Toby called it, with me on the team.

“If we win the regionals and make it to the championships, the scouts are bound to notice us!” B.J. said. Apparently while I was reveling in the thought of giving this team a chance, they were talking about scouts and getting noticed. I replied, still relishing my role as the star player of the team, “Hey, with me playing, you guys have at least got a chance. Might as well make the best of a bad situation, right?”

“If you’re willing to do it, so am I!” B.J. happily remarked. I thought to myself, wait a minute, I’ve barely known B.J., and he wants to work with me to make it to the majors? My thoughts then spilled out of my mouth. “Together?” I slipped out.

B.J. took offense to that a bit, asking me if I thought he wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t that he wasn’t good, it’s just that I didn’t think he had what it took to play on the same team as me. I’ve been the star player of every single team I’ve been on, and people knew it. Now B.J. was challenging my position? I was shocked.

B.J. yelled at me, “What?! I may not be the greatest, but I’ve got heart! Don’t be surprised if I make you look bad one day!” I had to compromise with him at this point. I said, “OK, you can think of me as your rival. But you sure aren’t mine.” I knew who my rival in baseball was, and it was not B.J. in the slightest. I didn’t want to tell B.J. who that person was when he asked; he wasn’t good enough to know that yet. But if me and…that person…ever cross paths again, I don’t know how I would react.

Come to find out it wouldn’t take me that long to find him again…

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 3:59 pm 
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Oh wow, this is nice! maybe we can do this for everyone else in success mode? :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 6:32 pm 
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Tyquain wrote:
Oh wow, this is nice! maybe we can do this for everyone else in success mode? :mrgreen:


I can see it now...

"MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Fruto's Eyes"

(or insert your preferred graybar name)

:razz:

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 2:26 pm 
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AgentP wrote:
Tyquain wrote:
Oh wow, this is nice! maybe we can do this for everyone else in success mode? :mrgreen:


I can see it now...

"MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Fruto's Eyes"

(or insert your preferred graybar name)

:razz:


Indeed.

Milton would be interesting. Full of ... and sentence fragments. Or Coach, where the whole thing is Humph harumph! except when other characters are talking.

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 4:22 pm 
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Chapter 3 - The Assistant

As November rolled around, I got pretty used to whatever this whacked practice schedule we had was. We could do whatever we wanted, however I went with my usual routine: warm-up stretches with the team, a few sprints from one foul line to the other, and any one of the pitching drills I’ve known since my Little League days. As I was doing some towel drills in the right-field bullpen, Robbie came out of the clubhouse for an impromptu team meeting, with what appeared to be a girl in tow. I thought to myself,
we’ve already had a team meeting today, why would there be another? And why is there a girl here?

“Listen up guys,” Robbie started, “I want you to meet Becky, our assistant manager.”

“Hi guys!” Becky joyfully exclaimed. Becky was probably around the same age as me, with aqua eyes, fair skin, and a pink bandana tied around a part of her gorgeous golden-blonde hair. She wore an orange sweatshirt with a white t-shirt under it, and a blue skirt to complete her ensemble. She was going to be our assistant manager?
Assistant manager? We didn’t even have a manager! That couldn’t have been true!

“Assistant manager? What’s she going to be doing?” I asked.

“Anything you want, Alvin,” Becky replied, slightly blushing at me a bit, “I can clean out the locker room, do the laundry…whatever you need!”

There are some things that are wrong with this reply. One, why was she blushing? Two, why is she the assistant manager? And, most importantly…how in the name of Randy Johnson does she know my name already?! Toby, ever the comedian, chimed in saying that his boxers needed washing. Too much information, dude. Too much information.

“And who are you?” Becky asked Toby. After he introduced himself as only Toby could, Becky snarked back, “Then I’ll gladly show you how the washing machine works!”

“What’s with the attitude,” Toby replied, “What makes Alvin so special?” Robbie then intervened, telling them to calm down, but not before Toby got the last word: “she started it. Why do we need a girl on the team, anyway?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot to mention,” Robbie continued, finally getting the meeting back on track, “Becky’s father is a major league scout.”

Everybody was astonished, even Milton, who managed to let out an “awe-awesome.” Her father was a major league scout? This seemed way too convenient, but we all went along with this stunning revelation.

“Who knows,” Becky said, “you all could be in the majors someday!” Everybody was overjoyed at the response, except for one pink-haired pitcher.

After practice ended, I managed to catch up to B.J. to discuss the one nagging detail that still lingered in the back of my head. “B.J.,” I started, “what’s the deal with Becky? How did she know my name?”

“Oh, Becky?” B.J. replied, “Yeah, she was here a while back for practice to come and visit me…”

“Visit you? How does she know you?”

“She’s an old friend of mine. We’ve known each other since grade school. Anyway, she noticed you, there were some weird sound effects, like a whoosh-cha kind of thing, and immediately declared you her ‘target’ for this year.”

“Target? As in…”

“Yep. That kind of a target. In fact, Robbie wouldn’t even let her on the team, because he thought she was only here to be around you, Alvin. When she brought up the scout stuff, Robbie and I were falling head-over-heels to get her on the team in some sort of a capacity.”

“That’s definitely interesting,” I remarked, “what’s she like?”

“I’ll tell you,” B.J. said, worried, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Warn me? What did he want to warn me about with Becky?

“I’ve got 38 scars,” B.J. continued, “and 31 of them are from Becky. She tends to throw things when she gets dumped.”

Well, that’s definitely something. Ouch. However, I think I can look beyond that minor detail and see if I can’t get to know her a bit better, but maybe not at this moment. Becky mentioned her dad would take a look at the team soon, and I couldn’t wait to show off my baseball skills. This could be my ticket to the majors!

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 11:47 pm 
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I think a graybar would actually be a really interesting/humorous perspective for something like this.

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 8:36 pm 
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This log is tremendous. This is a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge add to the forum. Hundreds of people are telling me that tell me this log is great. And it's going to be amazing from here on out. Believe me.

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 5:15 pm 
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Dish, this is awesome and it might actually keep me around the forum. :D

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 2:17 pm 
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Chapter 4 - Scouting and Coaching

It wasn’t until the third week of February, two weeks before the start of our regular season, that Becky’s dad, Rudy, came over to check out the team. Robbie called a team meeting to announce his arrival. It was a big moment for a lot of us on the team, so Robbie’s hair was a lot less messy than normal for this occasion.

“As you know,” Robbie announced, “Becky’s father is going to take a look at our team today. Try to look good out there!” At that moment, Rudy came into the meeting to introduce himself. He was in his mid-40s, had well-kept dirty blonde hair, brown-tinted aviator glasses, and a brown windbreaker over a white dress shirt.

“Is this where the Tulips play?” Rudy asked. At the sight of the scout, Robbie started stumbling over his words, “Um, y-yes sir! That’s right, sir!” Rudy told Robbie to relax, and asked him if he was in charge. Robbie said yes, and formally introduced himself.

“Robbie…I hope my daughter isn’t giving you any trouble, son,” Rudy replied with a smile and turned to Becky, “Well, Becky, it looks like you know how to pick ‘em. This Robbie’s a fine young man, and if you want to go out with him, you have my blessing.”

“Wha?” Becky said, puzzled, “Daddy, you’ve got the wrong guy! Anyway, enough with introductions, why don’t you take a look at the players?”

And with that, the scouting session began. We went through our usual practice routine, but with a few added events. We did some live batting practice, and even had a simulated game. We didn’t do a lot of simulated games, so this was definitely out of the ordinary. I noticed that the scout was nodding a lot every time I was pitching or batting, and sitting stone-faced while everybody else did their practices. This is boding really well for me, I think!

The scout left, but not before talking to Becky about a couple more things. I’m not sure what they were talking about, but if their mini conversation at the beginning of the day during the meeting was any indication, it was probably about who he wants her to go out on a date with. I did overhear one thing he said as I was leaving the field, and that was, “They’re about as good as any neighborhood kids’ pickup game.”

Apparently, that conversation turned out to be more than who Rudy wanted to have for a son-in-law. The next week, Robbie called another impromptu team meeting on the field, and for once, I wasn’t quite sure what this was gonna be about.

“I have a special announcement to make, guys,” Robbie began, “Thanks to Becky’s dad, our team is going to have a new coach! I want you guys to give him a warm welcome once he gets here.”

“Uh, Robbie,” I said, “I think he’s been right behind you this whole time.” He was. During his whole introduction, the coach, a heavy-set old fogie with a number of chins that couldn’t be counted on a standard calculator, was standing right behind Robbie, practically breathing down his neck. He also had balding gray hair, bushy gray eyebrows, and a two-part gray mustache.

“Whoa!” Robbie, startled, turned around and laid eyes on the senior citizen. “Are you the new coach, sir?”

“Harumph!” the coach replied. Except he didn’t really say the word, it was just kind of a sound. Robbie asked him his name, and all he got in reply were a couple sets of harumphs. This dude was barely speaking proper English, and I sure as heck couldn’t understand him.

“H-his name is S-Stone…” Milton peeped. Robbie’s eyes grew to the size of saucers.

“Stone?! You don’t mean the Hall of Famer and Major League Legend Coach Stone?” Robbie exclaimed, flabbergasted. From what I heard, Coach Stone was once feared for his iron fist in coaching, and seemed to go into hiding after losing in the World Series. Now he was turning up for a lowly Sunny League team?

“Hrrrrrrrrumph!” Coach Stone remarked. Becky then came in to join the team in the meeting.

“Coach, what do you think of the team?” Becky asked. After yet another series of grunting sounds from Stone, Becky, amazingly, replied to him. “Really? Thank you, Coach!” Could she really understand what this guy was saying?

B.J. piped up, asking if she knew what he was saying. Becky then translated, “He said you’ve still got a lot to learn, but he sees a lot of potential! He even said there are some future major leaguers among you!” Everybody was amazed that she could actually understand and translate this guy. But how?

Becky’s response to that inquiry: “You see, I’ve been hanging out with this other strange person…” Stone interrupted, though, whipping out a detailed practice schedule, a lot more detailed than any practice schedule we had, even outlining positions for all the new players!

“Welcome, Coach Stone,” Robbie said, “We look forward to training under your coaching!” And with that, the meeting ended. The season started up in a couple weeks, and I couldn’t wait to learn under this new coach!

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"Another year older, another year better at Power Pros!" -Me
"Best way to get laid: Tell her you're the community manager of a baseball video game forum." -SkittleMonster
"The Chronicles of Dish's Love Life. I'd read it." -BrewersFuzz
"Find a way to be alone in a baseball stadium at sunrise, when the only sound you hear are about nine birds that got lost, and found themselves in a stadium, and they’re chirping across the grandstand trying to figure out where the *(censored)* they ended up." -Dan Besbris

Twitter: @robtoml_statman


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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 2:23 pm 
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Ah, Becky's dad trying to hook her up with Robbie. My sides. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 4:04 pm 
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Chapter 5 - The End of the Beginning

The final week of May was the final game of my first season at Powerful University. We weren’t going to be playing for a championship, nor playing in the College Kings Series at Rainbow Beach Stadium in Hawaii, as we finished near last place in the league once again. I had performed pretty well all season, though more in a relief role to Robbie and Toby than anything. I am hoping to be a starter for my next year, but luckily, I was chosen to be the starter for our final game of the year!

We faced off with one of the other teams from our league, the Iron Stones from Muscle College. Before the game, its players, most notably their main lunkhead, Hank, were talking some trash about us, until Becky stepped in, much to the delight of Hank.

“Ooh, is this the famous Tulips manager I’ve heard so much about?” Hank said with a voice that sounded like their team’s name, “How’s about you and me get together after the game?”

“Famous? Me? Really?” Becky said, gradually blushing as she said each word.

“Yeah! The tomboy manager who’s always goin’ over the head of the coach an’ runnin’ the team!” To this statement from Hank, Becky got annoyed.

“Hey!” she yelled, “Come on you guys, get out there and destroy them!”

“Look at her giving orders,” Hank said, looking more interested in her than ever before, “I like my women strong. How ‘bout it? Forget these wimps and go out with me?”

“If you manage to beat us,” Becky challenged, “I’ll do whatever you want!”

I couldn’t believe what I just heard. “Are you serious?” I said.

“Yeah,” she said with a surprisingly straight face, “totally serious. So you guys better win!”

I used that challenge to my advantage, only giving up one run in my seven innings on the mound. However, it wasn’t until the eighth inning when we scored, as B.J. got a leadoff double, Peter walked, and Milton hit a three-run home run to the leftfield walkway to give us a 3-1 win over the muscle-clad group of knuckleheads. Hank lamented about losing out on his date, and to be honest, I didn’t feel sad for him at all. Becky and I were just starting to get to know each other outside of school, so a loss would’ve been a huge blow to our relationship.

Even though our team didn’t win the league championship, we did manage to win the game, and I couldn’t have been happier about it. We did better than most people expected us to in my first year, so who knows what my second year would bring?

Because of a school policy, the third year players had to move on from the baseball team to focus on academics for their senior years. All of them, except for one player we met at the very beginning.

I chatted with Robbie at our end-of-the-year team meeting after the game about this rule. “You’re going to be a fourth-year student, right?” I asked.

“No, I’m not,” he replied somberly, “I’m dropping out. My professors told me I haven’t got what it takes to graduate.”

I was saddened by this sudden turn of events. “What are you going to do, then?”

“I don’t have a job lined up yet,” Robbie said, “but don’t worry about me, I’m sure something will turn up. Right now, I’m worried about the future of the team.”

Becky conveniently interrupted at this point. “Um, while we’re on that subject,” she started, “have you picked a team captain for next year?”

“That would be ME, right?” Toby blurted out from the back of the room. Of course he would be the first person to step up to be team captain.

Becky questioned Toby’s logic on the matter. “Hold on! Just because you have seniority, you think you’re entitled to be the captain?”

“That’s right!” Toby exclaimed, “And that’s the way it’s supposed to be!”

This argument went back and forth between Toby and Becky for a couple minutes, until Becky asked Coach Stone if he’s not going to let Toby be the new captain, even though he got seniority. A single “Humph!” from the legendary coach spelled an end to that for the time being.

“If it’s not ME,” Toby dejectedly asked, “then who’s gonna be the new captain?”

B.J. finally joined the conversation at this point, “Maybe it’s me?” he asked. An emphatic “HUMPH!” boomed across the clubhouse, shocking everybody in the run-down locker area.

“That can’t be right,” Becky said, “you must mean Alvin, right?” Ah Becky, always looking out for my interests. Surprisingly for me and Becky (but especially Becky), a “Harumpha” of disapproval came from Coach Stone. Robbie then came in to take charge of the situation.

“I defer to Coach Stone,” he stated, “It may be a bit tough for a younger captain, but we can run with it, if he so chooses.” So, OK, I knew I wasn’t going to be the captain, but did B.J. want to be the captain?

“I don’t know about this…” B.J. started to say, but Toby quickly interjected. “Then let ME do it!” The Coach, to everybody’s surprise, agreed, and Toby became the new captain of the Tulips for my second year of college baseball. This could either turn out very well or very bad, and we would soon find out for sure…

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 12:26 am 
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Loving this, dish! :mrgreen:

And that discussion about doing this for all the characters... come on guys, don't make my creative side itch like this!

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 12:30 am 
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I really love this because there's so many arcs you could go with. You could have chosen B.J. to be captain and show what Alvin's path to the Champion Rings is like as an alternate path. Anyway, I really love this and it's so interesting. :D

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 Post subject: Re: MLBPP 07 Success Mode - From Alvin's Eyes
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 8:41 am 
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Thanks for the wonderful feedback so far on this! I have to agree that it would be fun to do something like this for all the other characters, and if somebody wants to do that in the future, be my guest. :)

I'm thinking, because of the length I'm already at, I may end the story after the second season, and make the third season a sequel to the story (or at least an extended cut), but I'd have to see where I'm at length-wise at the end of the second season. I'm currently at 10 pages (8 if you don't include the cover page and foreword I typed out) in the Word document I'm writing this in, and I have a personal limit of around 18-20 pages.

I do note I am taking some creative liberties with this story, and you might see some of that with the upcoming chapters of the story. ;)

Is there anything I can improve with this story, by any chance? I'm open to any and all constructive feedback. I've already made some minor grammatical corrections on my Word copy, which I haven't gotten to the forum version as of this point, as I'm constantly getting pointers from my Creative Writing prof.

I'm just glad Konami/2K Sports haven't C&D'd me yet for this, haha.

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"Best way to get laid: Tell her you're the community manager of a baseball video game forum." -SkittleMonster
"The Chronicles of Dish's Love Life. I'd read it." -BrewersFuzz
"Find a way to be alone in a baseball stadium at sunrise, when the only sound you hear are about nine birds that got lost, and found themselves in a stadium, and they’re chirping across the grandstand trying to figure out where the *(censored)* they ended up." -Dan Besbris

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