Power Pros Forum

you've put to words basically everything I've been feeling for the past 3 or 4 months. Feels Good Dude. high school rules. keep it up.

Phillies have you ever considered become an author? Or maybe a philosopher? That stuff is mad.

Actually, yeah, but never seriously as a career. My older sister and I are both pretty good at it, I'd say.

Is it mad in a good way, or bad way? *sigh* a sign I think waaaay too much about it, haha.

Good, you got mad skills. It also pretty damn thought provoking.

Thanks tdud, I think I've become pretty good at it.

And here's a not-so-sad continuation!

So it didn't go off super smooth like in my head, but it never does. At least it was cordial, nice, friendly. That's good, I'm happy with that. I told Sara (in oh so many words) I knew what was going on, but asked if she still would like the gift, and she said "Yeah, sure!". I had planned to be all laid-back, say what I had to spontaneously, but when she looks at me with those eyes, waiting for me to spill, I just utterly lose my focus. There's something great about that too, even if it makes me embarrassed, a true paradox. Not long after, she arrives in Physics and expresses that she doesn't feel comfortable accepting it, so she's giving it back, but it was sweet of me. That's all I can ask for really. I said I understood, and placed it back into my bag. This is the best outcome outside of her keeping it, which frankly wouldn't be possible in her state of affairs. It was the thought that counted, like I figured, and her knowing that is enough. There's closure for me, and I believe I'm in her good graces. I think I went about it the right way, everything leads me to feel as such so far. Rather than mulling over all the preparation, money, and thought spent, I'll merely say it was a pleasant exchange, left an impression, and can only leave me on a better standing. I felt really good about doing it.. I suppose that's what gift-giving is truely about, sentiments for her aside.

oh my god, phillies

I just read through your whole saga with the gift in one sitting and oh my god. I never went through a high school crush phase but you still managed to suck me in and make me feel for you. You should change your name to FEEL-ies.

I feel like I should give you advice or something but I'm really just as lost as you are here. I guess one day when her circumstances are better and your feelings can roll off your tongue the way the form into text... I hope the best for you.

Just never lose the girl or let her out of your sights and cry and stay up until 10 PM. Which I have been doing. LOL

you always know the right thing to say, zumi, haha. love ya, thanks for reading.

when I keep referring to "circumstances" or "affairs", I mean I found out she was talking to somebody else, and then actually got a boyfriend, not sure if you saw that on the previous page. so yeah, should not have expected her to keep the gift, but I'm happy with this.

man if only I could have that magic! all in the mind for now, maybe someday someone will read it and empathize.

KFPC I heard sleep is important in growing children. Also I might add a little something on here later.

There's a cruel joke being played. Maybe.

She has to be messing with me, at this point. I see you, I like your style. It’s pretty funny, actually! She says practically nothing in class after yesterday’s occurrence... okay, no surprise to be had there. Yet she wanders into Physics, passing us, and says an elated “Heyyyyy Cameron!”. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t know her too well, what’s up with that? Every time this has happened, I’m sitting right next to him. This time, I give her a gift out of my own volition; she remarks that it was sweet, and I’m basically invisible the next day. Here I am trying my hardest not to look at her, act normal, and I had done something nice. Awkward as it was, I did my part in showing how I feel, what’s Cameron ever done haha? It’s almost as if she knows I’m going to look her way and ignores me on purpose. I’m not mad, I just find it funny. It has to be some *(censored)* going on, and if so, well played.

Here's a sad story for you:
She has to be sad right. She has a boyfriend for God's sake. That son of a *(censored) is her boyfriend. Maybe, I'm just twelve nearing thirteen and am thinking wrong, but I have no idea. She had been a part of my life for like forever. It was just *(censored)* wrong that I was without her. And there she is. With her beautiful blond hair in a single ponytail. And her bright blue eyes that could just make you cry on the spot. I just can't do it. I see her around another guy. I just without thinking am just walking towards her. I can't walk away. Or stop looking. She was in my life and I'll never get her back. I can't stop. She has a boyfriend for gosh sake. I just start to cry when I see her. And I can't look away. It's like I have homeostatis of having to look at her. How can I just forget her? I've always wanted to be around her and wanted to be with her since like 3rd grade which was just like well three years ago. And she left in 5th grade. I haven't been able to lose her. I can't live without her. She's my whole life. I can't live without her. She's just been there. And now's she's gone and forever. I'll never live. How can I live? I have to see her. It's like there's no other way. She's been there forever and now's she's gone. And the kid is a *(censored)* *(censored)*. I try to forget her. I tried to like other girls. But she's just a constant. From third to seventh still a constant. A constant I don't know about. I don't understand these *(censored)* feelings. God, is this scary. I meet a girl that I love and can't forget and its just I can't do anything, but cry. Maybe I'm just a baby. Maybe it's because she's at a public school. Maybe it's because a kid in sixth grade at my school wants to get lucky with a friend. I'm expeiriencing too much. And I like Sadie too much. Did I say I can't forget her? Maybe I should actually tell a story to make it easier to understand.

I was at Newfield Day. A kind of celebration that is just where a bunch of people just sell stuff and have an event of a field. Well, I kind of was like so happy and I was with my friends. I was still sad. There was nothing fun at all there anyway. But then Sadie came with two friends and that son of a *(censored)*. I followed her and got beat up. But there was a problem. I couldn't stop following her. I was just too like energized or something. It's not my first time actually following a girl anyway. Someone's boyfriend asked me to follow some girl and report back if she does anything that would mean she's cheating. I saw her and kept following her. It was just too hard not to follow her. She was just there. And I was just there near her. After, I got beat up for the tenth time, my friend who a girl wants to get lucky with, told me to stop. So I did. Not for long maybe five minutes. Her friends and her boyfirend were on a jungle gym and I followed. Some little girl tried to stop following her, what the *(censored)* does she know! Anyway I still followed her and her boyfriend said that he would kill me if I didn't stop following her. Now, I just looked at her. My mouth just wide open. *(censored)*, was I sad. I couldn't stop doing what I was doing. I was just sad. And I was very sad. I in that moment saw something. A light. When I saw her all I could see was her. The rest of the world darkness. She was the only light. I couldn't focus on anything else. And I can't. I'm always sad. I ain't able to control my feelings of course. I was too sad. I couldn't understand. I can't live without her. I just can't. She's my life. I see it now. Anyway she came to me and said they just don't understand. I guess not a single one can understand. It's just crazy. Life is.

One week later...
It's hard to believe it's been so long. It's hard to try and be friends still, but I try the best. It's hard to look at you in the hallway. But, I still wouldn't go back. I feel free in a sense. Long gone from the bondage of secrets. I don't know what lies ahead. We still have 4.5 years together until the end of HS. It's only 8th grade. I might just be thinking it over to much. I should probably get back to something familiar, like make a success player or head out and play tennis. It was nice to see each other on Saturday, both doing quiz bowl, both getting back to the familiar. I don't think we can ever get quite back there, this isn't the kind of thing that just floats from memory. I just want to be friends now, but my actual words I said may have indicated differently. You've taken it well I suppose, trying to turn back to our old friendship. But alas, it will never be the same.

This is my first try at a short story guys, hope you like it. Still finding my own style but if I keep going I bet I will find it.

Gonna tell you now, tdud, you will find it. Just keep at it, and always try to write down if you're thinking about something. A lot of practice helped me develop the "style" I have, remembering how I was thinking and sitting there and taking deep consideration after the fact. Good luck and keep going.

My Short Story:

*(censored)* biology. *(censored)* biology. *(censored)* biology. The end.